On hardworking pillow princesses, actually showing up, and list etiquette

In Conversation with Ariel Friedlander aka Harsh Babe

Ariel Friedlander (@harshbabe.nyc) is a political organizer and arts educator. For most of her adult life she has been a direct action organizer alongside organizations like ACT UP New York, Jewish Voice for Peace, and Gender Liberation Movement.

With some additional glitter and hair extensions she becomes her high femme drag persona Harsh Babe. She organizes events that center the people and causes she loves the most; from lesbians, to anti-Zionist Queers, to the dolls, to the socialist agenda.

She is “like the super d*ke Sailor Moon.”

Her next event is on December 14 at The Rosemont for a holiday drag spectacular called “Merry D*kemas” to celebrate her drag mother, Briar Blush, being announced on the next season of RuPaul’s Drag Race!

🪩 🪧 On parties that are protests and protests that are parties

Now is the time for us to build the foundations of the futures we want to live in! I think we are at a really exciting time where although greater society is collapsing around us, and it’s horrifying, it also means we get to decide what kind of future we want to build for ourselves and our communities.

If I can’t use my protest spaces to create those moments of liberation and joy, what am I even fighting for to begin with? So yes, the protests I help put on will have a giant 40 foot rhinestoned banner dropped from tallest hotel in the city, a drag queen sign language interpreter, and end with victory drinks at the local lesbian bar. I want people to see these protests as a fight worth fighting for, where they also feel nourished and sustained to keep fighting.

Similarly, if I see that there is a hunger for a certain space in nightlife, I want to help provide it. When the core Doll Invasion team asked me to be their D*ke Ambassador, I reached out to Ginger’s Bar and the D*kes and Dolls calendar zine team to put on D*kes 4 Dolls to help fundraise. From there, we hired sapphic dolls DJs and performers to sell tickets for an incredible party, but we also built a coalition of dykes called the Pillow Princesses. The Pillow Princesses fundraised over social media leading up to the event and hyped each other up in a groupchat, then night of dressed and carried pink pillow cases to collect cash and help raise over $12,000 for their organization.

All this past summer we kept hearing “Protect the dolls!” and what we needed was ways for allies to actually plug in and help support trans women led causes, so of course all the local lesbians were more than ready to come together to party and raise money for Doll Invasion. It’s so important to not just SAY what you care about, but to find accessible ways to SHOW UP for what you care about in ways that feel good and make you see a better world is truly possible. I think that’s why I put on the events that I do.

As Toni Cade Bambara famously said, “The role of the artist is to make the revolution irresistible.”

🌈 On the wonderful land of Bushwig

The first Bushwig I ever attended was in September of 2019 about a year into doing drag, and I remember feeling like I was walking into Queer Utopia. There were drag queens, kings and things from all over the world on massive stages, a hall full of queer vendor artists, and some of the most exciting looks I had ever seen by the most loving drag artists I’d ever met. The only other time I’d experienced that same feeling of pride and awe was earlier that summer at the inaugural Queer Liberation March when I stood on stage with Larry Kramer and looked out on a sea of loud, proud queer radicals taking over Central Park.

🌬️ On chasing the illusive second wind

Unfortunately in New York City, every time you go to an event you know there are at least 3 other places you wish you could be at simultaneously. It’s the best problem to have! But missing my friends’ Gays for Zohran party earlier this year because I was too exhausted after shooting in drag with Sasha Colby for Flamer? I will never forgive myself for not finding a second wind...

🇷🇺 On listening to comrade Katya Zamolodchikova

Baby drag queens, listen up! The best advice I ever got was from the drag queen Katya when I randomly ran into her at an art museum. I told her I was going to perform in drag for the first time ever next week and she told me, “Don’t worry, you’ll be terrible!” Give yourself permission to try and to fail. Nobody worth having in your life expects you to be perfect at anything on your first try, but if you don’t ever put yourself out there then you will never have the chance to get good. At the end of the day, drag is about having fun. So don’t be your own gatekeeper. This applies to drag of course, but I believe it applies to event production and art of any kind too, as long as you are doing it for the love of it!

📆 On getting scratched in on the incredibly overbooked gay agenda

You have to make individual asks. I literally have a spreadsheet called “Gay Chain Mail” full of friends I text every time I promote an event.

📋 On list etiquette

If I tell you an event is going to sell out, and then you still hit me up and beg for a list spot once it does... I need you to #BelieveWomen.

🏀 On shooting shots

Katie Gavin, you WILL come to Doll Invasion!